Nice Guys™

bbcity:hollovv:bbcity:

Have you ever liked someone and then been nice to her?

Have you ever been interested in someone for reasons not circumscribed within how ~physically attractive~ she is?

Have you ever hung out with someone and tried to get to know her?

I guess we should congratulate you for not acting like a complete douchebag?

But perhaps (just maybe) you should de-convince yourself that someone owes you their genitals because of your deified displays at decency, you simplistic fuckhead.

…isn’t this fundamentally an affect of the cultural logic of late capitalism? Fetishism (as a valuation of objects) and the making-object of an interpersonal relation emphasize the need to act through the logic of manipulation. There are always two assumptions implicit in this misogynistic attitude:

  1. That if I am to do something for you, I am expected an equal action in return (a fundamentally capitalist, economic understanding of being social and equality)
  2. That not being straightforward and therefore manipulating the reactions of another person through morally deemed ‘nice’ actions is not wrong but treating someone with respect

The fundamental horror of this is, of course, that capitalism has skewered itself so far into the unconcious beliefs of these idiots that they are naturally, by way of viewing their interactions with women in a way that is “if I do x, I will get y” (treating a woman as broadly the concept ‘women’ in every interaction as an absent signifier, an idealization) robbing the specific person they are interested in of any form of specificity (and thus, their individuality or personhood) and alienating the person as already an idea of a person (or as a mere causality of pleasure).

I would also add that the attitude of exchange, the idea that an interaction that is voluntary is always one that benefits both agents [otherwise they would not engage in it] has permeated relationships (not just attempts at getting some on a Friday night). Because

  1. If a relationship is hitting a bumpy road it is obviously becoming inefficient and should be liquidized and
  2. There are so many other options on the market that would better suit your mentality of yielding the most ‘beneficence’ from an interaction which costs you the least

This is more than scary. This does away with any valuation of loyalty, trust, effort in cultivating bonds, etc.

197 Notes/ Hide

  1. sgtkirby reblogged this from charrrlotte and added:
    Ah no fualt divorce now...don’t like it.
  2. charrrlotte reblogged this from stfuanarchocapitalists and added:
    *Bolded for emphasis, crossed out some ableism (srsly, we need to work harder to remove casual ableism from our...
  3. whatthehelldidijustread reblogged this from ourben
  4. thereisnothingoutsidethistext reblogged this from baby-bluesedan and added:
    I love this. So many people on tumblr...1 issue ponies. They will say all
  5. worsethanqueer reblogged this from baby-bluesedan
  6. statueofbigotry reblogged this from private-revolution
  7. baby-bluesedan reblogged this from handgrenade2
  8. phredology reblogged this from ourben and added:
    Yes to all of this. “nice guys” who expect a reward for behaving decently aren’t nice at all. I used to be one of those...
  9. mishkuh reblogged this from matryoshka-bomb
  10. lockedownn reblogged this from psychoneurogenesis
  11. strangeasanjles reblogged this from whims-of-a-feminist and added:
    made great points concerning Nice Guys™ so I didn’t fee...comment on that, but
  12. whims-of-a-feminist reblogged this from psychoneurogenesis and added:
    Also, nobody needs to sex it up for it to be a legit relationship. There are plenty of asexual people who are not...
  13. babblingbubbles reblogged this from psychoneurogenesis and added:
    you’re actually...decent human being,...shouldn’t need
  14. benderbandit reblogged this from stfuanarchocapitalists
  15. manfurarm reblogged this from domesticterrorism
  16. atitlehere reblogged this from anticapitalist
  17. frozenrevolutionary reblogged this from heraclitorus
  18. onyourstereo reblogged this from stfuanarchocapitalists
  19. heraclitorus reblogged this from stfuanarchocapitalists
  20. ouafouaf said: the root of “the ongoing loss of romance in western society” trying to explain the root of “the ongoing loss of romance in western society” lolol
  21. arandompersona reblogged this from anamanajewbee and added:
    I do happen to know a few people like this. People who think being chivalrous means they should be able to have anybody...
  22. anamanajewbee reblogged this from arandompersona and added:
    I’ve found that most guys who label themselves as “nice guys” are entitled bitches. Expecting to get a girl because they...
  23. escalatortemporarilystairs reblogged this from frustrated-teenage-anarchist
  24. arandompersona reblogged this from anticapitalist and added:
    I used to like the term “nice guy”, but then this kind of thing started happening. “Nice guys” were being called out for...
  25. betteryourbrain reblogged this from andrewfm
  26. fatherthug reblogged this from andrewfm and added:
    ugh ugh ugh STUPID TUMBLR. click...internet “nice-guy” ideal ever bbcity:hollovv:bbcity:
  27. somewhatforeign reblogged this from wannabechomsky

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